If you had purchased $1,000 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.

“With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1,000.

“With WorldCom, you would have less than $5 left.

“If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock, you would have $49 left.

“But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer and then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund, you would have $214. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.”

“It's called the 401-keg plan.”

Have a good and restful and semi-sober weekend.